Glancing Over My Shoulder

Guppy is still missing. Francois and I are starting to think that we may be cat-less... And it's getting both of us down in a big way. We're still hopeful that she'll waltz back into the house at any moment, but it's already been three days since she's disappeared, and things are looking dismal.

Every time that I walk up or down the stairs, I find myself peering outside trying to spot her. While washing my hands in the bathroom, I mistake various logs and leaves for her body and paws. Driving home today, I saw something dark in the middle of the road, and slowed down as I drove by, but (thankfully) it was just a pile of fabric. Francois takes his shoes off and I spin my head around as they squeak on the wooden floor. Trying to fall asleep, the combination of fridge noises from downstairs, with the natural rumblings of Francois' stomach, trick my brain into hearing her purring.

Every noise that I hear, and every rustling bush that I see, makes me think that Guppy is about to tumble into sight. I keep expecting to see her prancing towards me from behind the nearest shrub.

I'm not really worried anymore. Either she's been lured into living with a family that will love her better than us, or something very sad has happened. Either way, there's nothing left to worry about... There's just missing her, and feeling depressed that our kitty cat has gone.

I don't want to say goodbye to Guppy. But I think that that's exactly what this post has become.

Okay. I'm going to go cuddle with Francois now, watch some stupid series and drink hot chocolate with coffee liqueur. It may not be the big distraction I'd like it to be, but it'll help to fend off the cold, at least.

Hormones and Worrying

Hormones are very inconvenient. Yesterday I was very irritable, and I couldn't figure out why. Everything Francois did got slightly on my nerves, even though he wasn't actually doing anything wrong. Eventually, I realised that I'm about half a week away from that time.

Ohhh... It all made sense! Figuring out the cause of my mood didn't improve it, but I did try to be a little nicer to Francois. I'm not sure if I succeeded, and I'm sorry if I didn't. I also took the opportunity (using hormones as an excuse) to finish off most of a bar of coconut and cashew chocolate... And then proceeded to whip up chocolate mug cakes for the two of us, as well.

Anyway, that was yesterday. Today, I'm less irritable, but definitely still affected by those nonsensey hormones. My mood easily slips into a marginally depressed one (better than an incredibly irritable one!), which is rather unusual in comparison to my general content and happy state of being. On top of that, little things that usually wouldn't cause me too much concern are making me worry instead.

Our little guppy cat.

Our kitty cat, Guppy, has been out exploring all day. She does this once in a while, it isn't uncommon at all. Usually, I feel nothing about not seeing her for a whole day. I know that she's a cat, and she's out doing cat things... But today, I find myself constantly glancing out into the garden, trying to spot her little black face somewhere in the bushes, and I keep wanting to go upstairs to peek into the boxes that she likes to sleep in, to see if she's cosied up in one of them.

She could be anywhere out there...

I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to have your kids move away from home... Not knowing whether they're alright or not. It must take a lot of time to teach yourself how to stop worrying about them... Or at least, to worry a little less.

I feel for you, Mom and Dad!

Sigh. Guppy must come home soon... And I must do other things while I wait for her.
Stupid hormones.