An Interesting Conversation with a Presumptuous Customer

For a long time now, I've known what I want to do with my life. It's not anything fancy, or different, or special. I know that I want to be a mom, and that's about it for now. That's kind of tricky, because I'm marrying an artist and can't just stay at home and look after children... I need to earn money. Anyway, the money-making aspect is not what I was going to talk about.

At work a few days ago, I was serving a friendly couple. They were easy customers, and I enjoyed serving them. However, while I was taking their money from them (with the card machine), the woman asked me what I do when I'm not waitressing. At first, I told her that I like to write, and that I spend time on that when I'm at home. But then I decided to tell her that, to be honest, I'd really like to be a stay at home mom. What followed was a very long, passionate rant about why having children would ruin my life.

This lady told me that having children would take away my control. I wouldn't be able to control the future anymore (as if I can control it now!). My life, as a young woman, would be ruined. Humanity is a disease, and furthering it is a bad idea. Bringing children into the world is a horrible plan, because they don't want to be here, and there's no future for them. And, she told me, sterilisation is an option. Because if you get sterilised, you can control your future. Hah!

After her husband managed to convince her to leave the poor waitress alone (after about five minutes of ranting about how the above mentioned waitress shouldn't have children), I walked away and laughed it off. I couldn't stop laughing, for a little while. The ridiculousness of how somebody could have the nerve to tell me how to live my life! I had a goofy grin on my face for a long time, accompanied by eyebrows that I couldn't force down into their natural position. But there's one problem...

It's bothering me.

I know that I want children. I'll be a good mom. I'm a good teacher, and patient, and have a lot of love waiting for a little person that I can give it to. But... Her rants have been sitting in the back of my mind for a while now, and it's difficult not to feel that somehow, having children is pointless. Not worth it. Or even a bad idea. It's difficult to laugh it off and not feel depressed about the thoughts that she's put into my head.

I suppose at the end of the day, I should pay more attention to what I noticed right when I first met her. She looks worn and hard at the same time. She looks sad, but she looks like she's denying it. This woman doesn't have children. She chose to sterilise herself and deny herself the opportunity to ever feel the love that a mother feels. When she meets somebody who's happy about the decision to have children, she probably feels envious about the opportunities that she pushed away. Maybe she isn't conscious about it, but I wouldn't be surprised if she's jealous of every mother, and of every mother-to-be, because she can never be one of those, ever again.

Maybe I'm wrong about that, but that's what I'm going to choose to believe... Because I'm sick and tired of being affected by her bullshit attitude and presumptuous behaviour. It's time to feel good about myself again - to feel good about my decisions and my plans. And nobody else is going to dictate how I feel about my life for a long time to come.

Ranting Over Breakfast

It constantly amazes me that so many strangers find it necessary to tell me what I should do with my life. There are loads of people out there who seem to think that it's their life's mission to give their opinions and advice to people who have by no means asked for it. I'm all for friendly, helpful advice when I need it... But then I'll ask for it, thank you very much.

(Note: Certain close friends and family are welcome to give me advice at all times, whether asked for or not. I'm specifically ranting about complete strangers, here.)

A recent example of this rude advice-giving (and this is a recurring event - same advice, different stranger) took place while I was at work a few days ago. A middle-aged couple sat at a table that I was serving, and when I arrived to get their drinks order, they recognised me. Their faces did seem familiar, so I wasn't surprised when they asked if I'd started studying yet, and commented that I was still waitressing at the same place. Obviously, they'd had a chat with me quite a few months ago, and for some reason I'd made a good enough impression for them to remember details about me. Impressive memories, I must say.

Well, when I replied that I still wasn't studying, because I hadn't quite gotten around to it and still wasn't terribly sure about what I wanted to study, they proceeded to give me a lecture. Rather than allowing me to fetch their drinks and send their food order to the kitchen, they preferred to go on (and on) about how important studying is, especially for women. According to them, as a woman, you need at least two or three pieces of paper to your name for anybody to take you seriously. They made it very clear that I MUST study, that I HAVE TO study, and that I MUST do it very soon.

While I agree that studying is important, I don't think that it's a very good idea to study something that you're not too sure about. (I've made this mistake once. It was a very expensive mistake, and not one that I'd like to repeat.) I'm also not convinced that every career path requires a degree or diploma... And while I'd like to do a short course of some kind to do with writing in some form or another (because that's what I'm pursuing at the moment), I don't want to throw my money at something unnecessarily expensive, just so that I can say that I have a degree.

What strange people... Anyway, I managed to escape and get back to work, but I suppose my interaction with them has been on my mind more than I realised. Hence the rant. Aaaaand... Rant over. Sorry about that.

Fun Fact: We go through about
four dozen eggs in a week.
We like eggs. A lot.

On a lighter note, I had a very tasty breakfast this morning. It's something that I make fairly often these days, but I'm pretty sure it'll get quite a few confused reactions: Pap and fried eggs, with salt, pepper and balsamic vinegar. Yum! (My Grammy and Puka taught this one to me.)

Now to have a shower out in the rain (more like drizzle by now, so it's time to just grit my teeth and get out there...) and then visit my Dad for a long-overdue cup of tea. Ciao!


P.S. I'm getting very excited about Carrie the Limping Lion. I've updated things with the help of a few trusted friends and family members, so feel free to swing by and take a peek at the latest version!