But you're so young!

I'm twenty four years old, and when I tell people that I have arthritis, the most common reaction is: "But you're so young! What?!" Then I go on to explain that I've had it ever since I can remember. I think a lot of people don't quite know how to process that information, because thinking about a six year old hobbling around like a granny isn't exactly a pleasant thought. Hell, it makes MY inside sad feelings squirm every time I think about it, and my inside sad feelings don't squirm very often.

A foundation that I just found out about!  

Anyway, the point of this post is to say, yes, kids can get arthritis, too... And it sucks. But it isn't the end of the world. Kids with arthritis can learn certain things a lot faster than other kids. When I was still very young, I learnt how to be patient, both with others and with myself. I learnt that it's important to push yourself to do things, especially when it's tough, but not to push yourself too hard, because that's just being mean to yourself.

Probably the most important thing that arthritis taught me, is that everybody has a struggle that you can't see from the outside. It may not be a physical struggle, but rather an emotional or mental one. A normal 'invisible' struggle that I have is one of laziness and procrastination. Other people also battle to overcome their flaws, other people also have days when they give in to them. That's human. And I got to learn that very early on.

I'm quite lucky, actually. I don't have bad arthritis. Rheumatoid Arthritis is usually very mean to the people who have it, but mine, for some reason, decided to take a chill pill before I even hit puberty. It still roars its ugly head once in a while, and I get flares if I get stressed out, if I work on my feet for too long, or if it gets too cold. But generally, if I relax, so do my joints, which is really amazing.

Back to kids with arthritis. Once in a while, I remember what it was like to be kid-me. Yes, I was often very, very sore. But that wasn't all the time, and it wasn't all of me. I still had hobbies that I loved doing, friends who I laughed and played with, siblings who I got into trouble with, and all of that normal kid-stuff.

Okay,  this has gotten too long for a boring post that's all depressey and stuff, so I'm going to end it off by shamelessly promoting my book that's supposed to help people (read 'normal children') to understand kids like me. You know which book it is. It's the only book I've written. (In case you don't know, and this is the first post you've read on my blog and the first you've heard of my book, it's called 'Carrie the Limping Lion'.) So... Please like the facebook page and pre-order a copy at Kobo or Barnes and Noble. :P Thank you!

Okay bye now!
Have a really non-depressing day!


(UPDATE: You can now buy 'Carrie the Limping Lion' through my blog, thanks to Payhip!) 

Carrie the Limping Lion is available for pre-order!

Yes, you read that right! I'm so excited!

I've set the release date for Monday, November 2nd. I'm self-publishing through smashwords, and I've discounted my book during the pre-order period.

(UPDATE: You can now buy 'Carrie the Limping Lion' through my blog, thanks to Payhip!) 

Two months away from the finish line!

The discount means that you'll get $1 off my $3 book. That's 33.3 recurring percent off, how exciting! This discount will end on November 2nd, the date of release, so be sure to reserve your copy before then to take advantage of it. ;)

So far, you can pre-order Carrie the Limping Lion through Barnes and Noble and Kobo, and soon it will be in the Apple iBooks store, too!


How does pre-ordering work?

When you pre-order a copy of Carrie the Limping Lion, you are basically pledging to buy the book the moment that it's released. Your money won't leave your account until the release date (so if something terrible happens and I can't finish and upload the book, you won't be charged), but you'll be guaranteed the discounted price, and you'll be one of the first people in the world to read the finished book.


A bit about my book:

Aimed at children ages 3 to 8, Carrie the Limping Lion is a short children's poem about a lion cub who has chronic knee pain. I've also written an information section after the poem, explaining more about chronic pain and hidden illnesses in a kid-friendly way. While children with chronic pain will be able to relate to Carrie, the aim of the book is actually to educate 'normal' kids about the conditions. Hopefully, that will encourage acceptance and friendships, making the lives of the affected children a little happier.

Francois is busy beautifully illustrating each of the eight stanzas, and we'll be working on the cover soon.

If you'd like a sneak preview of some of the illustrations, Francois has uploaded a few unfinished versions to his Coroflot portfolio. And if you'd like to read the (probably) finished poem, I've got it right here on my blog. Just remember, you'll be looking at the process, not the finished book, which will be so much prettier.


Will it be available in print? 

Not yet. Once the ebook has been published, though, I plan to start a crowd funding campaign to make printing a possibility.


What are you waiting for? 

Help a sister out! Go on, pre-order a copy now. You know you wanna. ;)

An Interesting Conversation with a Presumptuous Customer

For a long time now, I've known what I want to do with my life. It's not anything fancy, or different, or special. I know that I want to be a mom, and that's about it for now. That's kind of tricky, because I'm marrying an artist and can't just stay at home and look after children... I need to earn money. Anyway, the money-making aspect is not what I was going to talk about.

At work a few days ago, I was serving a friendly couple. They were easy customers, and I enjoyed serving them. However, while I was taking their money from them (with the card machine), the woman asked me what I do when I'm not waitressing. At first, I told her that I like to write, and that I spend time on that when I'm at home. But then I decided to tell her that, to be honest, I'd really like to be a stay at home mom. What followed was a very long, passionate rant about why having children would ruin my life.

This lady told me that having children would take away my control. I wouldn't be able to control the future anymore (as if I can control it now!). My life, as a young woman, would be ruined. Humanity is a disease, and furthering it is a bad idea. Bringing children into the world is a horrible plan, because they don't want to be here, and there's no future for them. And, she told me, sterilisation is an option. Because if you get sterilised, you can control your future. Hah!

After her husband managed to convince her to leave the poor waitress alone (after about five minutes of ranting about how the above mentioned waitress shouldn't have children), I walked away and laughed it off. I couldn't stop laughing, for a little while. The ridiculousness of how somebody could have the nerve to tell me how to live my life! I had a goofy grin on my face for a long time, accompanied by eyebrows that I couldn't force down into their natural position. But there's one problem...

It's bothering me.

I know that I want children. I'll be a good mom. I'm a good teacher, and patient, and have a lot of love waiting for a little person that I can give it to. But... Her rants have been sitting in the back of my mind for a while now, and it's difficult not to feel that somehow, having children is pointless. Not worth it. Or even a bad idea. It's difficult to laugh it off and not feel depressed about the thoughts that she's put into my head.

I suppose at the end of the day, I should pay more attention to what I noticed right when I first met her. She looks worn and hard at the same time. She looks sad, but she looks like she's denying it. This woman doesn't have children. She chose to sterilise herself and deny herself the opportunity to ever feel the love that a mother feels. When she meets somebody who's happy about the decision to have children, she probably feels envious about the opportunities that she pushed away. Maybe she isn't conscious about it, but I wouldn't be surprised if she's jealous of every mother, and of every mother-to-be, because she can never be one of those, ever again.

Maybe I'm wrong about that, but that's what I'm going to choose to believe... Because I'm sick and tired of being affected by her bullshit attitude and presumptuous behaviour. It's time to feel good about myself again - to feel good about my decisions and my plans. And nobody else is going to dictate how I feel about my life for a long time to come.

A Rushed Post Before Work

This is me trying to write a quick, short blog entry, before going to work. While I'm writing this very sentence, I have an hour before I have to leave home. That hour is also meant for getting ready and stuff, so I'd better not get too carried away here.

We still have so MUCH.

First of all, I made even more pumpkiny food last night. We have so much pumpkin, I'm getting kind of sick of it... And yet, the food was still really tasty (pumpkin, chicken, saucy goodness and rice). And it was tasty again for lunch today, because I made enough to have leftovers. (Whyyyyy? Too. Much. Pumpkin.)

Next. Francois is being totally awesome and creating a header for this here blog of mine. He's doing a silhouette of me on my bike and EVERYTHING. I love him. He works so hard, and I repay him with tea and leftovers and back rubs and never doing enough dishes. I'm a lucky girl, to get so much for so darn little. (If Francois didn't do any of this for me, I'd have to pay a lot of money to get it done. Or I'd have to do it myself, and everything would look horrible, and that would be terribly disappointing.)

Next. I'm trying to type up an educational spot of information for the end of my children's poem, but it's proving to be much trickier than writing the poem itself. I know what I want to say, I've typed it up, and I think it's way too long. I think I need to sit down and sum up what I want to get across in a few short points, and make those points fun to read. Too much content there will just decrease interest, and that won't do at all. So that may take a little while to get right, but that's okay... I've got time.

I'd also appreciate some ideas for causes of chronic pain in children, particularly joint pain, but other kinds too. I want to include some examples, my brain isn't working, and google is proving difficult. I will look again tomorrow when I have more time, but any excellent ideas are always welcome. Hint. Hint.

In between writing this, Francois has been calling me over to give him my opinions on the progress of my header. I've been posing for him, and contributing my point of view, and all of those clienty things. Eep! :D

Well, I now have forty five minutes left to get ready for work. It may not be a spectacular post, but it sure was written quickly! It isn't very short, though. Oops! Well done, me... And sorry to all of you if it was horrible to read.

Time to go make money!

Carrie the Limping Lion

(UPDATE: You can now buy 'Carrie the Limping Lion' through my blog, thanks to Payhip!) 

I've been struggling to figure out the format for the children's stories that I want to write. What age group should I target? How do I actually start each story? What happens in each story? All of these are things I've been thinking about and not managing to come up with answers to, until today! 

I've decided how to deliver each story, and that delivery is through simple poetry. I enjoy writing it, and hopefully it's more enjoyable for young children to read. Here's my first draught of "Carrie the Limping Lion". (Yes, she's named after me, Carrie-lion!)

Francois will be illustrating each stanza for me to make things more kid-friendly, and to add to the story a little bit. 

Please give me honest and critical feedback - I need to learn a lot and improve the way that I write these, if I want to expand on the collection and actually have kids interested in the stories. If children find them boring, then they won't learn anything from them, and what would the point be in that?

Well, here goes nothing:


Carrie the Limping Lion

Illustration: Francois Swart

Carrie is a lion cub
Her knees are always sore
Sometimes when they hurt too much
They make her want to ROAR!

Jumping jacks are bothersome
And running makes her squeal
You can't see what makes it hurt
But Carrie's pain is real

Carrie has a lion's heart
Do you know what that means?
She's very brave and carries on
And joins the running teams

Soreness makes her running slow
And sometimes she comes last
But Carrie has a special dream
Of running Cheetah-fast

Sometimes when the pain is bad
Her mom wraps up her knees
With bandages to keep them warm
But sometimes others tease

The tiger cubs don't understand
So they don't play with Carrie
But that's okay, 'cause Carrie has
A cool best friend called Sally

Sally is a panther cub
And climbing is her thing
But when her friend is tired and sore
She joins her on the swing

They talk about all kinds of things
And like to play pretend
So Carrie is a happy cub
Life's better with a friend


*Update #1: At the end of each poem, I plan to include a kid-friendly description of what affects the character involved and how this makes things different for them. Sort of an educational post-script for children who want to read more about it.

*Update #2: Edited last line from "Because she's with her friend" to "Life's easier with a friend". Also, Francois has started illustrating it in the meantime, working on the opening illustration. Yippee!

*Update #3: Panthers are the strongest climbers of the cat family, so to give Sally and Carrie different interests, I've changed Sally's 'favourite thing' to climbing, instead of running.

*Update #4: Had a lovely phone call with my mommy and got some really useful crit about the metre and some of the clumsier lines. Thank you, Mommy!

*Update #5: Daddy pointed out that Leopards are not the fastest animals, cheetahs are... How has nobody caught this yet? Haha! 

*Update #6: If Carrie needs bandages because she's cold, why is she wearing shorts? Changed stanza five from 'Sometimes when it's very cold', to 'Sometimes when the pain is bad', so the poem and illustrations make more sense together. 

A Different Collection of Children's Stories

(UPDATE: You can now buy 'Carrie the Limping Lion' through my blog, thanks to Payhip!) 

There's an idea that I have for a collection of children's books. Basically, I want to write about children who are different, like I was (Or should I say "like I am"? I don't think I'm a kid anymore...). Now, everybody knows that I'm different from most kids. I'm a complete weirdo, after all, which is apparent to many people. The simple fact that I only just learnt how to ride a bicycle is a huge indicator of my weirdness. But that's not the kind of different that I'm talking about here.

What makes me different is that I have Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. I'm one of the very few lucky people who are currently in remission, so you don't need to get all worried about me all of a sudden. Sometimes my knees or hips hurt, but that usually only happens if I'm particularly stressed out, or overworked... Which is a big part of why I currently live in the Garden Route (so calm and pretty!) and only work four days a week as a waitress (which is actually very easy and stress-free). However, that's not the way that it used to be when I was a child.

Back in the day, when I was but a wee lass, I was very sore - very often. I wore bandages around my knees to keep them warm when the days were a bit too cool, and I couldn't take part in a lot of sporty activities with my friends. During school assemblies, I didn't sit on the floor with everybody else, because it bent my knees too much - so I'd sit on a chair with the prefects and teachers, which drew a lot of attention. So few children understood why I couldn't join them in their games every time, and it might have made things easier if they knew more about Arthritis in general... Which is what gave me the idea for the children's books. Really short, nicely illustrated stories about children who are different, and how they go about their daily lives.

Children with Arthritis (like me!), children who need glasses, children who are deaf... Children with all kinds of differences. My brother, Benjamin, calls children (and grown-ups) like this "diff-abled". We're still able to do most things that other people can do, but we're forced to do them in a different way. By the by, Ben has recently discovered that he has Asperger's Syndrome, so he knows what he's talking about when it comes to being diff-abled.

Of course, I can't finish this project alone. Ideally, I'd like to get input from as many people with as many differences as possible. Perspective is so important, and at the moment, the only perspective that I have is my own. If you'd like me to write a story about you, please leave a comment or drop me an email so that I can chat to you about your experiences as a child who was different.

I'd like to show children all over the world that although we're different, we're still just kids, and we don't want to be isolated and bullied, we don't want to be misunderstood... We just want to have friends.